Do I Need To Have a Best Friend?

Hi there Christian Damsel! Welcome back! 

In this post, we look at the question of whether or not a young Christian woman needs to have a best friend ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ.


BFFs, besties, or bosom friends - whatever you call them, we all have an idea who that person is. Many of us have had at least one person who we considered a best friend at some point in our lives. 

There may even be some of you who now have someone you ascribe that kind of relationship position to. But is it something a young Christian woman needs to have? Let us explore the matter.

Do I need to have a best friend

Who is a Best Friend?

The Bible speaks of 'chief friends' (Proverbs 16:28) and 'very friends' (Proverbs 17:9). Psalm 41:9 also uses the term 'familiar friend' and goes on to say that such a friend is one who was trusted. 

The Urban Dictionary has this to say about who a best friend is:

A best friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin. It's someone who listens and understands you. Someone you can call anytime about anything you feel you need to 'tell' or 'vent'. It's someone who will stand up for you in the times when you need it most, keep your secrets close, and someone you can trust with your life. 

So we see that a best friend is a very friend, a chief friend, a familiar friend who we trust and who trusts us.

It is also clear that the idea of having a best friend is a scriptural concept. Now there are some specific examples of Biblical best friends we can find.

Of course, many of you are probably already yelling, 'David and Jonathan'! And with good reason. The two young men are an amazing picture of a best friend's friendship. Most of their story is found in 1 Samuel 20.

You could also consider Ruth and Naomi to be an example of biblical best friends. Look at what Ruth said to Naomi in Ruth 1:16 - 17! (I'm sure there are more examples of best friends in the Scriptures, and I hope you will help me by finding them and sharing them in the comments!)

Should a Christian Have an Unsaved Best Friend?

In 2 Samuel 13:3-5, Amnon got a really bad idea from a really bad friend. It was a thought that resulted in rape, sorrow, and ultimately death. 

But it could have been avoided if Amnon had made a better choice of a friend. Amnon's friend, Jonadab, is the one who advised Amnon to fake sickness so as to get Tamar to lie with him. 

You don't need a friend who can be described as being 'subtil', the same word used to describe the serpent in Genesis 3:1. You need a best friend who will give you godly counsel and pray for you. 

An unsaved woman friend CANNOT give spiritual advice that is genuinely coming from the Holy Spirit, and does not have the help of the Holy Spirit to bear you up in prayer!

Of course we will have interactions with unsaved persons. However we as believers owe it to our souls to NOT get too open or close with someone whose father is the Devil.

Can my Best Friend be a Male?

Now things are really heating up! 

I may have already gotten myself in hot water by saying a Christian young woman should not have an unsaved best friend. Now what will I say about a best friend who is a male?

Well, if your male cousin is saved, or if it's your husband, then you can go ahead. But I would be very wary of having even a Christian male being my best friend. 

Very wary. 

Why? Because if he's married it just wouldn't seem appropriate for him to be best friends with another female; and if he's single, then other complications might arise, like having him fall in love with you...๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝ‍♀️...and then you would no longer have a best friend, you would have a suitor, and that would just complicate things...๐Ÿ™ƒ.

I think we should just stick to the examples we have from the Bible for best friend relationships - they were of the same gender๐Ÿค—.

What if Your Best Friend Backslides?

So what happens if you already have a true, God-sent, sweetly saved, sober spiritual best friend who backslides? I don't mean she stops coming to church and blatantly renounces Christ. 

I'm talking about becoming carnal, worldly, vain, gossipy (is that a word?๐Ÿค”). What should you do then? Let's have a look at a scripture to learn a principle.

Deuteronomy 13: 6-10 describes a  sobering law:

If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;

Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:

But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

Did you really read that?! 

If your friend was drawing you away from God he or she was to be...killed๐Ÿ˜Ÿ. Now of course this is JUST A PRINCIPLE! WE WILL NOT LITERALLY GO TAKE ANY LIFE!!! But one lesson we can learn from this could be the need to end the friendship. 

Hard to do, I know. And you are probably thinking you should try to help restore the apostate friend.

Perhaps you should indeed try. Pray earnestly, point out to your best friend the ways you see her soul in trouble. 

But be very cautious about trying to restore your backslidden best friend. A little leaven still leavens the whole lump (Galatians 5:9)...So if you realise that attempting to save a soul is costing you your own, it's probably a strong warning that you need to cut ties.

How Do I Find a Best Friend?

If you feel you really want an Elizabeth for your Mary situation (leave it in the comments if you get that๐Ÿ˜‰), the simple answer is to pray. Make your request known unto God through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6).

What if I Can't Find a Best Friend?

If you just can't seem to get a best friend, don't worry about it! Even though the Bible shows examples of best friends, it also has many examples of people who did not have one. 

They were not without fellowship of other believers, but they did not necessarily have one special best friend. 

I can think of Elijah, Paul, the disciples, and Jesus! They were surrounded by wonderful fellowship from the brethren and the Holy Spirit, and they were effective in their purpose. 

The Bible endorses having best friends but it never commands it nor suggests we can't thrive without one! 

When you need a friend to pour out to, or someone to pray for you, let the Holy Spirit lead you and He will provide!

Questions for you:

1. Do you have a best friend and if not, do you desire one?

2. How would you handle a backslidden best friend?

Leave your answers in the comments and let's be a blessing to all our readers๐Ÿฅฐ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’๐Ÿค—

That's it for now! Thanks for stopping by my fellow Christian damsel๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŒธ

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