Am I a Witch? A Question for the Christian Wife

Hi there my fellow Christian damsels!

Here is a question for you:

What is witchcraft? 

Answer: It is essentially control. 

Now at first that may not sound so morbid but let us review how God made us as humans. And we also need to review how God made the husband. 

So, first off, God made every single human being with a free will, and He expects us to operate in it. Anyone who intentionally violates someone's free will is treading on dangerous ground! 

So what about a husband?  Well, God made the husband to be and operate as the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). So, again, any wife who is resisting and contending for that position is also treading on dangerous ground. 

The essence of witchcraft 

The aim of witchcraft is this: I always get you to do what I want you to do.  No, it's not the black cats and crystal balls  (although some witches operate with those tools...). But, at the root of all witchcraft is the desire and the intent to get your way from someone, even at the expense of his or her free will.

Woman holding remote control
Photo by Ambro,

Now let's zoom in on the context of marriage

Remember how I said the husband is the head of the wife? Please don't gloss over that. 

Understanding and absorbing that truth is essential for being a good wife. It's like the roots of a tree; or the foundation of a house. 

It's like the letters of the alphabet in language construction.  It's that basic. 

Any other thought or perspective on this matter will ruin the foundation and set us (yes, I'm included!) for becoming...well...witches!

So here's the big question - AM I A WITCH OF A WIFE?

Here are some clues that could suggest you are either there or walking dangerously close.


Unsubmissiveness goes along with a few other terms. I can add the word domineering.  I could also say you want to have a say in all decisions. I could probably describe how you get upset when you don't have your way. Or maybe there's a wife who continually tries to convince her husband to agree with her. Then there is thinking that your ideas are always right or better.

This list isn't exhaustive, but it should give you  an idea of some of the signs of unsubmissiveness. 

My dear sister, when you think of your husband, do you see him as a partner? As someone with whom you have discussions on an issue to arrive at the best decision? 

If your answer is yes, let me gently offer some correction.  
Your husband is not your partner, in the sense of a business partner . He is your covenantal head. 

Your marriage isn't about working together to achieve a common objective. He is the head of you, and if and when he offers a differing opinion, you must give way. (Swallow..)

You may be known as a strong leader in other circles. Chances are, you are the head of your own ministry or even the manager of a company.

But, my sister, let me remind you to change mindset when you get home.

Being a strong leader is no excuse for being domineering and unsubmissive to your godly head. 

You aren't always right. Your voice and opinion don't need to be made known every single time on every single issue. Sometimes all that's needed is a simple "ok". 


You don't have to host a debate about every point your husband raises. 

Try your best not be a nag, and therefore avoiding the path to becoming an outright witch of a wife.

The tools of witchcraft 

Now let me also alert you to some of the tools of witchcraft in marriage.  Here is where I'll introduce another key word on this issue- manipulation. (You should shudder at the sound of this word..)

I'm talking about fake tears, pouting, nagging and the infamous "shop-locking".

The first three listed work well for the poor husband whose heart just breaks when he sees you sad, so he gives in just to see you smile again.

And then the pouting is just not pretty.

Then the nagging...well...a wise man once said "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19


Then, as if all the previous tools weren't hard enough to deal with, there is the wicked (yes, I said wicked) weapon of denying sexual gratification to punish or teach your husband a lesson....

That's just wrong (shame on you if you're there) and also unwise...he is a man...and the Devil might just provide him with a willing alternative...

Add to that are not his teacher, so leave all "lessons" to the Holy Spirit! (Yaneke loves you too!:)

Here's some practical advice:

When your husband suggests something you don't agree with, take it to the Lord in prayer. It's the best therapy ever, and it may also be a door the Holy Spirit uses to safeguard your husband from going on a wrong path. (I didn't say he was always right!)

Pray always. Learn to cast all your care on Jesus- He really cares for you.

Don't wrestle with your husband.  Wrestle in prayer. 

That's all for now!

Thanks for stopping by my fellow Christian damsels!

See you in the next post!

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