How to handle a marriage proposal!

 Hi my Christian Damsels!

Welcome back to another post!

I'm so excited to share with you on this topic of the right steps to take if someone asks for your hand in marriage!

(And obviously this one is for the single sisters!😁)

How to handle a marriage proposal

First things first...

 So, let's just get this one out of the way:

If the fellow proposing marriage to you is not a Christian in the first place, the answer is no. 

You don't need to pray about that one. 

You don't need to be rude either - just graciously and firmly say no.

There is no room for "marry him first then he will get baptized just like he promised me".

Please, don't ever fall for that one🀦🏽‍♀️!

(Which is why Christian Damsels shouldn't be dating unsaved fellows in the first place, but that's probably for another post!)

But what if he is a brother?

Now if the proposer is indeed a Christian, that is where things get kinda complicated.

This is where you, my sister, will need to consult God in prayer and even fasting too!

I do not recommend talking about it with any of the following persons just yet:

  1. A pastor 
  2. A prayer mother
  3. A prayer partner
  4.  A close sister in the faith
  5. The proposer!!!🀦🏽‍♀️

A great example of the right response to a marriage proposal was illustrated by Dr. Toluwanimi in High Calling Part 3

When surprised with a marriage proposal from the character John (even before knowing her name!), the missionary doctor accepted John's contact card. However, and as advised even by her suitor, she didn't give an answer on the spot.

But much to John's distress, she took more than a month to get back in touch with him!

What lessons we can learn from this character! 

First of all, even if it meant ruffling the feathers of the man who proposed, she was in no rush.

Secondly, and as she later explained in the film, she kept busy with her working for the Lord. She was shocked, but did not get distracted by the proposal.

How does this apply to you?

I know it's tempting to go check in with the first four persons on that list I shared previously.

It almost seems quite natural and even appropriate to go let your pastor know about this significant event. 

You feel like you need help to pray, so the first thing that comes to mind is a prayer partner. 

Maybe, depending on the closeness and spirituality of your fellowship, you could just lay it all out to them and have a prayer meeting about it right there. Why not? Just get it over and done with!

But most of us don't have that ideal fellowship. ☹️

So I implore you my fellow Christian damsel, seek God first! Acquaint yourself with God's mind on the matter first. 

Too often we accept counsel from well-meaning individuals who are just happy for us. It's kind of like Nathan the prophet when he told David to build the tabernacle. Afterwards God had to speak to Nathan, telling him that Solomon should do it instead. (1 Chronicles 17)

Nathan loved David and meant well for him, but what David dreamed of doing wasn't God's will.

And just to mention, please don't discuss it with the proposer. He already wants what he wants.🀦🏽‍♀️

That's not going to help you have a clear spirit to hear from God.

Don't do it!

What if we were dating before?

Now the answer to this question is a bit tricky. 
And that's why I really don't believe in intentionally dating around to find a wife or husband. 🀷🏽‍♀️

I believe in doing what the character John did in High Calling Parts 1, 2 and 3. He just lost himself in God and God's work, while praying for God to lead him to his wife.

But, if he and you were dating before, do you need to take a break from him and your friendship while you pray?

I recommend, yes! (Please don't stone me!)

Here's why.

The simple reason I suggest a break is that emotions can get really intense in the world of dating. 

Those emotions are masters of deception, and tend to be "trigger-happy": they are just rearing to go and will push you to go with eyes wide shut!

So, take the break!


A marriage proposal can be something you are expecting (because you are already dating someone). 

It can also come as the shock of your life from a total stranger (as with the character Dr. Toluwanimi in High Calling Part 3!)

Either way, a request for your hand in marriage should be approached with prayerful discretion. This will ensure that God's will is done. 

How to handle a marriage proposal

Is there ever any value in seeking godly counsel? 

Of course! The character John displayed this wisdom in confiding in a friend (Samson), but be aware of three things:

1. John had already laid a solid, consistent foundation of prayer on this issue over the years.

2. John had been praying about this specific woman for some time before involving his friend's counsel.

3. He had already proven that Samson was a truly spiritual friend. (Recall in High Calling Part 1 how wisely he encouraged John after John got news of his third class degree).

May God bless you my single Christian Damsels, with His choice of a spouse; and when a proposal comes, may God bless you with the knowledge of His will!

See you in the next post!πŸ€—


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  1. πŸ‘Œ. To the point, concise and interesting! Well said and thought through. If we all.follow this guideline, we would not have so many failed marriages. Most persons accept proposals right on the spot because if fear of disappointing the proposer and if done in public space, the crowd at large and then they would have to keep up to the acceptance even if red flag is seen afterwards as they have to live up to pleasing society. Thank you for sharing such great words of wisdom. Be blessed and may God continue to use you to shine His light upon us.

  2. Amen. This should be all over the world. To all single Christian ladies.

    1. Bless God! Well, feel free to share, share, share!πŸ‘πŸ½


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