Did I Marry the Wrong Man?!

Hi there Christian damsel 👋🏽!

Thanks for being back with me in another post!🤗

Did you find my previous post useful? (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read it here!)

As we continue to prepare for the month of weddings (aka June😉), I thought it would be wise to consider this question: Did I marry the wrong man? (And obviously, unlike my previous post, this one is for the married ladies!😁)

So, here we go!

What are your regrets?

My dear married sisters, I have to be real and honest with you...as usual, right?😉👍🏽

Marriage is great, but marriage is hard.

You enter the halls of marriage with eyes full of hope and a mind full of dreams. Your time of courtship was wonderful and you know God spoke to you about him. He is definitely God's choice for you.

But as time passes and the daily mundane tasks become real, some realities begin to surface. 

Enter: regrets

How could you just two years ago have been so sure this was God's will, and now you question it all!

"Did I really hear from God about him?"

"Was it my flesh or just my mind?"

"Were those prophets and prophecies real or were those ministers just speaking out of flesh?"

"What do I do now?"

Sigh...cry...pray...confess to God that you made a mistake...sigh and cry again...

🤷🏽‍♀️

I will speak to you from two perspectives: one where you REALLY DID make a mistake; and two, where you are in the will of God but undergoing warfare.

Yes, I really made a mistake!

So you deliberately and with full knowledge that God was not in it, went ahead and married him anyway.🙋🏽‍♀️

😭

I sigh and cry with you.

But I also rejoice because you have come to sufficient spiritual consciousness to know when you have done wrong👍🏽🤗

That's something valuable, because you will need to have this spiritual sensitiveness to move forward...

No, not to another man!🤦🏽‍♀️

I'm talking about moving forward IN this current marriage...!

But, why? You ask. If I was wrong to marry him, shouldn't leaving him be my way of repenting?🤷🏽‍♀️

Sorry...no...

Ever heard it said "it's better not to vow than to vow and not pay"? (That's from Ecclesiastes 5:4-6, by the way).

Then there's that really scary story in Judges 11:30-40. It's the story about one of Israel's judges named Japheth. He vowed to offer the first thing that came from his house to meet him if God would let him win a battle.

Well, he won, and his only child came out first to greet him afterwards. This is what he said:

"I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back."

😮

Yup! Jephthah had to sacrifice his daughter as the burnt offering he had promised to God!!

My point is that you can't just go back on your words...but you can move forward with mercy and grace. Grace to forgive yourself and to love your husband without ever lording it over him..."you better recognize I'm just putting up with you for the Lord's sake..."🤦🏽‍♀️

No way!

Love him graciously as God loves you too 🤗! Don't view him through the eyes of your mistake. Rather, love him with humility.

I pray you be healed from every regret in Jesus' name!

So I'm in God's will but I still have regrets

So, you are in God's will (although you doubt it) but you still have regrets...

To be honest, I bet you only started having regrets when something didn't go the way you wanted...?🤔

Either he changed and started saying and doing things you don't like, or you changed and no longer find those things about him cute! (Can I get a witness?🙋🏽‍♀️)

So this is where you'll need the arsenal of (drum roll...) the fruit of the Spirit! 🎊🎉

We're talking about long-suffering (I see you cringing...🤗); Kindness; Gentleness; Self control (yes, girl, watch your mouth!) and above all love!

An arsenal, I say, because you use these as weapons against the enemy of your soul! 

The truth is, whether or not you married in God's will, it takes these weapons to move forward. Don't use the thought that you made a mistake as an excuse for defeat.

Move on in victory! 

Can I tell you a secret? You only lose when you lose fruit (fruit of the Spirit, that is!) If you can still love, submit, pray, forgive and bless that husband you call a mistake, girl, you've won! 

So did you marry the wrong man?

Probably you did! But can you still be a good wife? Yes, you can and I declare, you will! 

My advice to you is :

1. Admit to God where you think you went wrong and ask humbly for His forgiveness
2. Build (or rebuild...) your altar of prayer where you can daily pour out to God and allow Him to pour into you
3. Search the Scriptures for examples and instructions on godly wives and proclaim those verses over yourself
4. Forgive yourself and depend on God's grace to carry you all the way!

Conclusion

I hope this has been a big help to you if you're struggling with the thought of a marital mistake! How do you plan to move forward in your marriage? Do you have any real life example of a godly wife? Who's your favourite Bible wife, and why? Let me know in the comments!🤗

Activity

Where in Scripture do we find the fruit of the Spirit listed? (Hint: think New Testament)

Thanks for stopping by my fellow Christian damsel! See you in the next post!👋🏽

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